I took a little bike ride today. The morning was cold but I was bundled up in one of Aly's sweatshirts and a fleece hat. I would like to say I went miles but I didn't. The ride was just to move my body and fill my lungs with fresh air.
The whole time riding I talked to Stevie, there are about a hundred morning commuters who think I am a crazy homeless woman who stole a bike.
The air smells the way it did before. The blossoms on the trees, the wind and clouds coming from the ocean, the smell of dryers and fabric sheets all remind me that time stands still even when it is ticking away.
Orchard Supply had two kumquat tree's that will fit perfectly in the two half barrels I found on the side of the yard yesterday. Phillip helped me move them and I filled them with soil. Today I will plant the tree's and see what a kumquat tastes like. I also bought little blue and pink flowers to plant in Stevie's garden.
I miss her so much. This year the backyard will have two different kinds of apples, Asian pears, apricots, nectarines, pears, figs, pomegranate, cherries and Meyer lemons. It would have been paradise for her. The Goblin market, I would gladly eat the fruit to save her.
The day calls me, it will be full of little things to do. It is going to be a sad day today, I can feel it. I am lonely for a time that does not belong to me anymore. The time ahead just doesn't seem as shiny or as interesting as it use to. I am learning to live in the present but it can be hard work.
The first yellow tulip is up.
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