Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Yosemite was breath taking. If you have never seen it in the winter than you are missing what must surely be one of the many wonders of the world.

We woke up on Christmas morning in a tiny cabin with two very small beds that we pushed together so that all four of us could fit and keep warm. We could hear snow bombs falling from the branches of the tall trees, when they crashed down we jumped, it is hard to believe something so soft and white can be so loud and heavy.

Santa left little gold wrapped gifts under a miniature tree with battery operated lights. Noah got everything he asked for an Ipod and snow. He was like a helium balloon that kept floating to the ceiling, he was inflated, I mean elated.

Aly moaned and groaned but she was the first one to put on her snow clothes. They all went for some Christmas sledding while I stayed behind to take a long hot shower and get us packed up.
I also needed some time to be alone with my feelings. I could feel the empty place and it seemed all around me. I wished she was there with me.

I layed in our funny bed and read The Lovely Bones and the book felt like a Christmas present. Most people may find it a strange book to be comforted by but it was what I needed. My wet and freezing family arrived at lunch time and we headed over to the Yosemite Valley Grocery where we stocked up on car food; Cheese, bread, honey mustard, fruit, giant cookies, Kettle chips and juice.

The drive home was slow but we couldn't complain it felt like every few feet offered a new view we would have slowed down to appreciate anyway.

My favorite was a single black crow that flew into my frame just as I clicked the shutter, they follow me everywhere. I snapped again as it landed and said, "Good Morning Mother, tell our girl Happy Christmas"

It was a different kind of Christmas and maybe this will be our new tradition.

I am learning to build a life around an empty space.