Little Celebrations

It was my guys birthday today.

I made it a good one, a real kids birthday with all the bells and whistles.

Children left with fat goodie-bags, high on sugar and still sweaty from the trampoline.

I walked around doing, doing, doing.

I felt like a ghost.

I talked to my girl, pretended she was here like she was before.

I discussed the frosting, the wrapping paper, and how 14 kids showed up when we only sent out eight invitations.

I miss her so much, especially when there are celebrations.

It doesn't matter that she might have hidden out in her room reading and stealing cupcakes.

I just want her here with me.

I want to open her door and ask her if she needs something to drink with those cupcakes, she would turn and look at me like she didn't know what I was talking about and have chocolate frosting in the corners of her mouth...

Her brother didn't miss her today. He is forgetting. He is too little to understand. Please God don't let him forget her voice, her smile and the way she would lay on the floor and play a board game with him and make him earn his win.

Life keeps moving forward, as it should I suppose but I can't move with it, not easily, something too big, too precious, so much a part of me is missing.

Happy Birthday my big Boy, you are such a love, such a joy and such a comfort to me.

Sweet Dreams my Best girl, I believe you were here telling me to put the rainbow sprinkles on the cupcakes, they looked like you, sweet so sweet.