Monday, September 10, 2007

Dark Blue

Today I paid bills. It seems a stupid thing to do. I open an envelope, pull out some paper, throw some paper away, write some numbers on another piece of paper and stick it in another envelope for some one else to open. I pay someone to deliver this piece of paper. I pay the bank to give the person who gets the paper some money out of my account. In return my lights stay on, and water comes out of my sink.

If you were not from here you would not believe it.

Today I feel like I am not here. I am wearing my weird and stupid glasses and everything seems strange looking out of these lenses.

Do you ever wonder what this is all about?

I ate some food, I made some art, I paid some bills, I kissed my son.

I don't feel very significant.

Tomorrow I think I will wear a different pair of glasses, I will look for my understanding glasses or my thoughtful glasses, maybe my change the world glasses.

I miss my girl. If she were here she would make sense out of it all in a few short words. She would desire payment for her insight so I would buy her coffee from Pete's or Mr.Beans. A soy-something. We would drive home listening to Andrew sing "Dark Blue" She would act pissed that I knew all the words, I would piss her off even more by telling her how cute I think he is.

Then she would smile, because the coffee was so good, or the music moved her or just because she loved me. I vote love.

My heart is so full of her.

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