This morning I did something I have never done and I edited a post. My agreement with myself was that this blog would be for me and I would write honestly, openly, and not be afraid of pushing "Publish" because of what someone else would think.
It was hard to start blogging because it is a public forum. The odds of anyone finding this blog and reading it are pretty small but it feels very public when you begin. I knew what kind of person I am and I knew that I would write, re-write and finally delete because it wasn't perfect. I decided instead to give myself permission for this not to be perfect for it to just be what it is.
This is where I go to write. I love doing it because it comforts me, it connects me with myself. For me writing is very healing, it's my therapy.
We live our lives editing all the time, there has to be one place you don't have to do that, for me it was here. I wanted this to be my journey.
Last night someone who I thought never read my posts did and found two sentences in a post I wrote hurtful. I didn't write them to be hurtful actually writing them helped me diffuse some anger so that I could get through the day. I didn't write an untruth but it upset this person enough to confront me about it. So the post has been edited, the sentences deleted.
I won't do it again. I have also asked that person to stop reading my blog.
I feel like this blog suddenly doesn't have the integrity it once did. In the future I will leave out names of people if the story is not positive but the story will still be honest. In real life we have names, here maybe not.
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