My poor journal is empty, it seems I do all my writing here instead. It is very different writing here. I have spell check, I don't need to hunt down a working pen or pencil that needs sharpening. I never run out of pages and my blog can't fall into the bathtub.

I am getting better at typing I think I can do a million words a minute and I don't even look at the keyboard anymore. Ahhhhh technology.

Noah is still sick, just barfed all over the bathroom floor, my shoes, the garbage can and a magazine, that's ok it was a PEOPLE someone left here. Poor little stick man. The pediatrician will be getting a call from me bright and early. I hope he knows what he is in for. I am not leaving without a full work up, scan, and IV for hydration. I am mean Mama now. We won't miss anything this time.

I have had a couple offers from the most loving, loving people to join me on Thanksgiving to hang-out, go the cemetery, go to the movies. I tell you I could just sit here and cry I am so touched.

(Chel...you are so sweet)

I would love to take everyone up on the generous offers but then it would feel like Thanksgiving. If Noah is feeling better I think he and I are going to the movies and we may movie hop like bandits. I will smuggle in popcorn balls and juice boxes. Later we will get something very nontraditional to eat, most likely a Chinese restaurant as they seem to be the only ones open on a holiday.

If he is still feeling bad I am going to rent a bunch of On Demand movies and we can drink tea, eat toast and I can beat him at spit and speed (these are card games). I am the but he has nimble little fingers and slips cards in under mine then beats the pants off of me.

I am a sore looser.

I am fine with Aly and Steve going to my sisters house. They want to, they need to and it will be better for me, I can relax. Steve is trying to act like he is staying and pretending like he never in a million years ever intended on really going. The bottom line is that I shamed him. Aly has no shame, she wants turkey! I kinda respect that in some demented way. Steve hates to look like the asshole. What he doesn't understand is that if you have to be talked into doing the right thing then you have already been asshole stamped. He would be better off eating the damn turkey, watching football and falling asleep on the sofa.

I painted one table today, I should have taken pictures but I couldn't find the new package of batteries I know I just bought. If I know myself they are in a weird place. I think something might be wrong with me. I found a package of socks I bought then promptly lost in a bucket in the garage where we keep hammers, hacksaws and pliers. I have no idea how they got there please don't ask.

I had a sandwich today, one of my favorites from Eric's it has a pile of veggies in it with some wicked Dijon sauce. They put it on this super soft brown bread that gets totally soggy, it is heaven and it made me a little bit happy today. I ate it in my car while I listened to Spanish radio. I didn't even realize it just sounded nice, there was a really great guitar that made me feel very mellow. I also ate two bags of Ms.Vickie's BBQ chips but please do not tell anyone.

Well I got up so early I suppose I should cuddle up with my little guy who smells like cottage cheese. Maybe I will slay him in a game of cards before bed.

Tomorrow is the nineteenth again. Seven months. I don't know how to feel about that. I want to go Christmas shopping with her. I want to fill her stocking with strange things that make her smile. I want to read her Christmas list and search desperately for the obscure things she puts on it. She does it to prove there is a Santa, a game we started a long, long time ago. This year if she were here I would buy her a loom, a silk screening kit and one of the little handmade baby chicks I found on ETSY. They are way too cute, she would love them.

I never liked Christmas, my least favorite holiday of all but I would give a trillion dollars and all the days of my life to have one more with her.