Sleep

It has been a long day. I am sleepy and the sun is still up, if I were a napper I would be sleeping on the couch in the sun room where there is a late afternoon patch of sun keeping it warm. I can't seem to nap, it makes me grouchy my body isn't sure what to do with sleep that isn't quite sleep, it doesn't understand light, sleep and waking up to get through the last part of the day.

What I do is push through the day with that heavy feeling you get in dreams where it feels like you have legs made of sand. I will eat to stay awake and ask myself over and over "is it 9:30 yet?" That is another small problem I have, I won't go to bed before that time no matter how tired I am. I am afraid going to sleep early will become a habit and I will start eating dinner at 4:00 with the seniors at Denny's, wake up at some ungodly hour to pee and make tea, sit in the dark alone, listen to the radio...Oh so not attractive to me.

So I will torture myself, stay awake, eat some chocolate, watch something horrid on television like "The Bad Girls Club" or hulu old episodes of Glee (which is actually one of my favorite secret crush TV shows).

Sleep, sleep, sleep...

I had a few VIP visitors at the store today, special guests that really made my day. In-law-cousins who live up in Olympia (who I was too afraid to drop in on when Noah and I went up last month). They were at the end of their long road-trip-vacation we got lucky and were able to share a meal and talk. Neil and Jamie are so nice, so comfortable. They are the kind of people you feel like you have known forever. They have a 15 year old son who reminds me of someone I can't name, he has an adorable Peck face and is a super witty guy. Teenagers can be a drag, all those hormones and moody stuff, he is different, a super nice boy, smart, interesting...I hope Noah is as sweet when he is his age.

Jamie is married to Steve's cousin she is a mom, she knows all the right things to say, she hugs just right and if I were in labor or having a bad day she would be the person I would like holding my hand, she has that "everything will be all right" vibe. I dig it, everyone should know someone just like her, I am a lucky girl.

I am missing Stevie. I always miss her but today I really-really miss her. I wrote her a note on the shower door in the steam asking her what she is doing, telling her I miss her and love her and I scribbled a million XXOO XXOO XXOO's

There is a Jason Mraz song called "Sleeping to Dream" it has been playing in my mind all day.

It has been a wonderful day, renewed family connections, plenty of Noah time, a great day at the store, a long ride on the Yamaha, and tonight a nice long sleep where I will dream of girl who stole a horse.


(Jason Mraz's song, Sleeping to Dream About You)

And I
I'm dreaming of sleeping next to you and feeling like a lost little boy in a brand new town
I'm counting my sheep and each one that passes is another dream to ashes
And they all fall down.

And as I lay me down tonight
I close my eyes
What, what a beautiful sight

[Chorus:]
Sleeping to dream about you
And I'm so damn tired
Of having to live without you
But I don't mind
Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

I found myself in the riches
Your eyes, your lips, your hair and you were everywhere out there
I woke up in the ditches, I hit the light and I thought you might be here
But you were nowhere
Oh you were nowhere at home

And as I lay me back to sleep
Lord this love I pray, that I can keep

[Repeat Chorus]

It's just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night
Oh just a lullabye to keep from crying myself to sleep
Oh just a, just oh, just a little lullabye,

Sleeping to dream about you
And I'm so damn tired
Of having to live without you
And I'm so tired

[Repeat Chorus]

Well I'm so, I'm tired
I'm falling, I'm so tired, I'm so tired