Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I feel surrounded by love today.
I am blessed to know incredible people who took time out of their day to send comments of love, support and comfort.
I am fine.
When I am confused and frustrate, angry or sad, I bake. I am not good at it, my cousin Kelly is the baker in our family but I get by. I made delicate sugar cookies this morning iced with pale pink frosting and tiny white sprinkles. The flower cookie cutter I used was Stevie's and I know she would have LOVED these sweeties.
Yesterday I made peanut butter cookies. I like mine a little bit crunchy and dry. I use whole roasted peanuts, brown sugar and really good vanilla.
Yes, I ate them all.
My Sarah will be running the Paris Marathon in April. She and her husband recently separated and will be divorcing. She asked if I would go with her to France and be there for her at the finish line and I said yes without even thinking. How can you say no to Paris in the spring. I have a little money saved and I got a very, very good deal on my ticket. We will be sharing expenses and traveling like bohemians. Our one luxury will be the tiny apartment we are renting for the days of the race. The elevator in the building is broken, and our room is on the fifth floor so we got it half price. It is still astronomical as far as I am concerned but it is going to be dreamy I just know it.
No, I will not be running.
I do not drink red wine, I hate goat cheese and I am a vegetarian. It will be a bit of a challenge to get the French to like a Canadian (tee-hee-hee) like me. I am sure there will be plenty of pastries to keep my belly full.
I need this trip. It will be my first time away from my little guy for such a long period of time. I am having anxiety just thinking of the distance but I know he will be Ok. I plan to bring him puppets, chocolate, and rocks from France.
I will bring something of Stevie's to bury. I plan to take her everywhere I go and leave little bits of her all over the world.
I asked her to send a meteor shaped like a heart to let me know she is still alive, somewhere I am not meant to travel yet. I am waiting to see what unravels. I don't want anyone to get hurt or anything to get damaged, a giant hole in the backyard will be fine.
The shop is doing well. I am not rolling in money but there is always enough to keep it going. I am very proud of what I have created...The art, my children, the book, the store. I am blessed.
I am holding my head high, standing close to that open window letting it all in.
(T-I am here for you, we still share the same life-boat)